The gift that keeps on giving (this one's for you, shanaynay!)

TV + Channukah= instant classic. (Look at me doing math!! I'm really smart!!) Photo from tvguide.com

How are you, my loyal, incredibly attractive and charming followers? It's been awhile, and once again, I am completely at fault. However, as I always say, don't hate the player, hate the game. The aforementioned game being the game of LIFE. But I shouldn't be encouraging you to hate life I really am a horrible influence I apologize.

Moving on.

In case you are a hermit who has been living in a cave for the past thirty years and only this second have decided to give up your secluded lifestyle and connect to the interweb (and inexplicably you chose to look at my blog... I'm quite flattered, honestly) it is currently CHANNUKAH, and, for my non-Jewish friends, holiday season in general, and this has gotten me thinking about the theme of this evening's blog, GIFTS.

Who doesn't love gifts? And who doesn't love TV? Therefore, I shall make an incredibly logical conclusion that is supported by the laws of both mathematics and grammar (my two fave things besides open heart surgery sans anesthesia): TV is a gift!!! A gift that keeps on giving!! And giving and giving and giving!!

Television is quite honestly the greatest gift ever ever ever. For one, it gives you something to talk about at ALL TIMES with ANYONE. Exhibit a: I have talked about Modern Family with not one but BOTH sets of grandparents, people at school, neighborhood postal employees, etc etc. Exhibit b: my sister's go to icebreaker when meeting new people is discussing 16 and Pregnant. She is able to sustain conversations on that subject lasting for a good 20 minutes. (Just on a side note, that show has managed to find and showcase the most unattractive and incompetent individuals in the continental United States. Which is quite an accomplishment, in my humble opinion.)

Also, TV is the ultimate cure-all for loneliness, boredom and sadness in general. TV always makes me feel better. Like drugs or doing nice things for other people, but without the risk of getting shot at or having to move. Just the other night, I was sitting alone, watching the most recent episodes of 30 Rock, and I was having THE BEST TIME. I was just eating my Honey Puffs and laughing out loud to myself! A night to remember!

Alright, I'll leave you all with that little tidbit of embarrassment. Have a super splendid holiday season, and if no one remembers  to get you a gift, zee boob tube is always there. Unless, of course, you're the aforementioned hermit, in which case there's not a lot I can do for you. I'm only human.