Heavens to Betsy! I haven't blogged in un while

The original Dumbo. Also, hands down the best ride at Disneyland NAT. Photo from color-page.info.

My dear sweet readers, I have failed all four of you. By allowing myself to be distracted by far less important things like homework, college applications, cross country and heroin (15 points if you guess which one's a lie!!!) I have had no time to watch TV and therefore have neglected this blog and, by association, you. For this offense, I am deeply, truly sorry.

Please accept this post as an apology, a token of my affection and the potential Pullitzer Prize-winning work that it is. (35 points if you guess which one's a lie!!!) Senior year should not equal the end of this blog (only the end of my sanity HAHAHAHHAHAHA).

Sooooooo my Homecoming formal was last night, and as I was about to go to my friend's house so she could put makeup on me because I am incompetent at being a girl, my ever-eloquent father gave me these heart-warming words of wisdom: "Be the prettiest girl there!"

Now, besides being a bizarre half compliment-half threat, that statement was inherently, well, dumb. But you know what, dear old dad? That's okay! Because people say dumb stuff on TV all the time, and that's what makes TV so utterly fantastic!

Think about it. What would Jersey Shore be without people saying dumb things? I'll tell you what it would be! Orange CSPAN! And who's everyone's favorite character on Glee? Britney S. Pierce! Why, you ask? Not because of her prolonged internal struggle trying to choose between Cheerios and Glee Club or the unexpected insight she gives us into the human psyche, that's for sure. It's because she's DUMB.

Admittedly, there are some dumb things that people say on TV that we could be better off without, ie "Congratulations, Gretchen, you are the winner of Project Runway", but for the most part, when it comes to entertaining programming, the dumber, the better. So good call, Daddy!

So, loyal fans, I hope you will forgive me, just like I have forgiven you for not existing. Everything I do I do for you.